“You should stop reading fiction books and start reading these titles.” Mother said as she pointed to the stack of books in her workstation, bearing titles like Talent Is Not Enough, The Path to Wealth, and more business like words that doesn’t fascinate me enough to pay 10 seconds of attention.

“It’s different for everybody. My inspiration isn’t rooted in those kind of genres.” I quipped. Cutting the conversation short, just in case it would just turn into another argument or debate that I might be forced to engaged in.

I tend to put my thoughts in a back burner until I’m sure that they’re good enough to be served. The rest of the words here might be what I hold back during that day. 


Reactivating my Goodreads account has pushed me to lower the stack of books that has already gathered dust in the bookshelf. To say that my to-be-read pile is out of control seems like an understatement. The nerd in me would express this in a simple equation that the books I read is indirectly proportional to the books I buy. At the start of the year, I had an agreement with a friend that I would only buy a book every three months (and if I end up breaking this rule I need to buy her one too, so far I only failed once). Ah, the extreme measures that I must do just to control my impulse buying and hoarding tendencies. 

The books I pick up to read are based on my “mood”; some sort of gut feel that the story would match my emotions or whatever I’m currently going through in life. Here’s the chosen ones for the first quarter of the year and some of my thoughts about it:


Photo grabbed from hookedonhouses.net 
First, you are not alone. If you think that you're a glitch to the feminine species who seem to be equipped with natural skills in whipping up food that tastes good, I repeat you are not alone. 

Second, there’s actually hope for you. Society seems to align us into a stereotype that cooking should be innate in a woman, but trust me cooking maybe a talent for some. But sometimes, it’s a skill to be learned. 

I know, because I am one of those girls.


Once I was seven years old, my mama told me,
"Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely."
Once I was seven years old

It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger
Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker

You’re a bright young girl who seemed to be born with rose colored glasses. Most of my memories of you had already crumbled with time, but I also have vivid ones that I would never forget. There was the time when you didn’t hesitate to join an acting competition at school; a tear-jerking moment was needed to be shown, as you pretended that the doll was your mother. The crowd scared you but behind stood Nanay, cheering you on. Seeing her standing there was enough to melt the nervousness away. I could no longer remember if you won or maybe another person gets to take home the prize, still you were happy that you didn’t back out.



The weekend is coming to a close, but this one was stretched out to be enough. Not lacking for me to ask an extension. Not slow for me to cut it short. Just enough. For the mountains have called, and once again we headed to its direction.

After more than a year of not being able to climb, I finally had the chance of going back on track (or should I say trek?). It was a walk in the park, they said. But we're not even halfway through and my lungs were already gasping for air. My heart seems to be doing somersaults inside my chest. Pain was also starting to grip my back, enough to make me feel older than how I truly am. To think that it was a level 2 climb! It was supposed to be easier compared to my previous experiences.


The Big C. It’s quite difficult to grasp the meaning of this word all at once. It ranges from the material things up to the state of our lives. As a new year entered, it became the talk of the town. Though it may be a little step, I started to learn a thing or two about contentment.

Reading Hannah Brencher’s experience on her target obsession made me nod my head in agreement (especially on the part of wanting all those pretty stuff but never getting around to using some of them). Last month, I scanned my room for evidences of excess. I need not look far, with just a tilt of my head the pile of unread books on the shelf presented themselves.
Blame it on my poor self-control, lack of good buying habits, or the low-priced second hand books that I can’t let go of. The moment I started earning money was also the day that my book hoarding began. I have read some of them for the past months, but the problem is that I buy faster more than I can read. Slowly, they started piling up and the number didn’t go down to 50 plus. I would always joke that this is the reason why I’m broke.


But as for me, my feet had almost 
   I had nearly lost my foothold...

When my heart was grieved
   and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
  I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;
  You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
  and afterward you will take me into 

Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And earth has nothing I desire
      besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my 
   and my portion forever.
        PSALM 73: 2, 21-26

If there was a way to summarize 2015 in verses and words, this would be it. It was a tough year that I even asked myself if there was any sense in writing about it. Even the photographs above are a far contrast from what happened during in-between moments. But then I just have this habit of closing the year through a blog post or something written. Something to acknowledge the fact that life can be good and bad at times, but God...He just remained constant through it all. Through the heartaches, through the pain. Through the sorrow and through the rejoicing.

I am far from who I was, and who I wanted to be. Some of my plans in life did not go as expected. It has been a scary and exciting ride. A few things weren't one hundred percent clear when the year ended, but I guess that is where He wants me to be...out of my comfort zone and into His arms.