THE 100 DAY PROJECT: DEVO X TYPO

“A hundred days! I can recall the questions that raced through my mind before I decided to jump in: can I handle it? Will I push through when my schedule is jammed? Will I show up everyday, even when it hurts? – especially when it hurts?” -Elle Luna

 

These exact thoughts were running in my mind as I joined the challenge. It was a last minute decision mixed with excitement, fear, doubt, and a whole lot of mixed emotions. Knowing myself, I am aware that I tend to lose my sense of excitement in doing creative things or maybe anything in particular that requires my attention everyday. It makes me think if it will make me a slacker artist in the future. But this weakness was actually the reason why I jumped into the challenge – to develop discipline in handling my creativity. Art takes time and practice and patience. Excitement may die but I hope that my desire to improve in this craft won’t.

STORIES, FOR THE TIME BEING

I finally got around the task of cleaning my first Tumblr blog and was successfully able to move in another address. It was an exhausting thing to do, even if there were only 500+ posts, hiding them one by one took its toll in my eyes. I was thisclose to deleting them all just so I can make the process quicker, but of course some of them are precious memories of my college life that I can't bear to part with. Blame it on my sentimentality, but I just had to keep them even if they are now for my eyes only.

Looking back, I realized how much I struggled back then. It was only a personal blog filled with day to day events of a normal college girl, but at the back of my mind I wanted so much more. Most of the people I followed were cool "It" girls (if you've been in Tumblr for so long you know what I mean, and you know who they are), and some dashing dudes who seem to have it all; Name it: followers, sponsors, free passes to events, and free travel! Wow, who wouldn't want that? Because I must admit that I really did.  So I tried to achieve this same kind of status that they have and made sure that every post is well thought-of, a quote that every one can relate to, artistically curated photoset, and everything else in between. I wanted traffic, I wanted followers, I wanted to be recognized for whatever I put out there.

Only now did I realize that I wanted my blog to click so much, for that little space in the world wide web to matter, without knowing that I wasn't creating the sound that I want, but I have become a mere noise. Seriously, I didn't know that I was so frustrated for that kind of blogging career. It was like that moment when Ariel exchanged her voice for a pair of feet. Apologies for going on sappy Disney mode here, but there's no denying that I wanted to be a part of that "cool" blogging world. But three paragraphs after, and more than four years of staying in Tumblr that didn't happen.

So what's the point? Haha! I guess being inactive from that platform for almost a year did me good. I was truly reminded this time of why I started to blog, why I want to put my thoughts out there, why I want to post pictures or create typography, why I want to improve my writing skills -- and that is to share stories. To not desire too much superficial things but to actually connect with people, to read their blogs, to find a common ground, and eventually make one less stranger out of them. For years I've been trying so hard without knowing that the only thing I need is to share my story, to go down deeper in my heart and have the guts to actually put it out for other people to see.

After testing the waters for so long, this is the first time that I've felt excited that I have little space for my thoughts once again. I finally understood what take it slowly and be yourself truly means. I don't know how long I will continue blogging or how long I can keep this active; new questions will present itself as the days progress, but for now all we have are stories for the time being.

LIFE ON LISTS: 15 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Tree months running and most of my blog posts seem to be stacked in the drafts corner. Going back to the groove of blogging after a long time of not being able to write can be quite a challenge. I'm measuring up the capacity of my schedule, the tone and the voice of this little space. For now, let me share to you the 15 things that can lighten up my mood (thanks for tagging me Arli!). After all, lists can never go wrong.

1. Reading books, blogs, and magazines (nowadays, I prefer the not so glossy ones though).
2. Drinking coffee - a great companion from college days until the daily hustle at work.
3. Doing artsy fartsy stuff; drawing, sketching, calligraphy, and D.I.Y. decors are my favorite.
4. Watching movies.
5. Spending quality time with family and friends.
6. Discovering hole-in-the-wall cafes and restaurants.
7. Eating breakfast food.
8. Watching the sunrise (which is actually quite ironic because I'm not a morning person).
9. Receiving and sending snail mail or handwritten letters.
10. Taking long walks when I'm stressed out.
11. Flowers -- especially the sunny kind.
12. Poetry (but then sometimes it can be heartbreaking too). #somuchfeels
13. Being able to put my thoughts in paper.
14. Traveling and adventures in different places.
15. Encouraging and connecting with other people.

#NOFILTER

What if this hashtag is applied in my life and the way I portray myself in social media? I wonder how my posts would look like without any filter at all; These thoughts played in my mind a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure that the answers to those questions wouldn’t look anywhere near like a perfectly set meal, or an artistically designed coffee, nor a colorful typography.

Life without filter is somewhere between the good, the bad, and the messy parts of our day to day lives. It’s a picture of struggling with the snooze button every morning, or trying to get a good spot on the jeepney to and from work (commuters know that this scene looks straight out from the World War Z movie at times), or even eating at the nearby carinderia to save some money. In this day of Instagram worthy pictures the challenge to be authentic is real.

Maybe this is just the over thinker in me writing and typing these words, more or less to serve as a reminder that my petty problems are nowhere near what other people are experiencing outside the world wide web. Something to make me realize that I should not be obsessed in getting the perfect angle but to appreciate every waking moment of this life, even if things aren’t always brought to perfection. That the photos I post, the words that I write, the art that I create, or the review of the books and things I have seen be of use to create a connection to other people. Not out of vain to gain the much coveted attention, but out of the sincerity of the heart to share something worthwhile.

The photo above is my everyday view from the office. It’s not a grand skyline nor a pleasing patch of green grass, yet it did not fail to show me that life is made of this – the good and bad times. There may be struggles when buildings are still under construction, but this is how we lay down our foundations: by going through different processes, and accepting the fact that we are a continuous work in progress. Situations may seem as messy as the flow of thoughts in this blog post, still understanding is gained when the time is right. In the end, everything will finally makes sense.

LEARNING NEVER STOPS

It has been more than a year since I graduated from college and transitioned into the “real” world. At first it was quite overwhelming. After years of being a student, I was faced with a different kind of freedom. There were no course outlines, no subject syllabuses, no class schedules, and no extra hours of homework (do I hear a yay? hahaha). I was faced with a blank sheet and it was up to me to create my own path. This time, it was not just about a college diploma but the whole course of my life.  While some of my batch mates entered the academe again to earn their master’s degree, I jumped into the bandwagon of the corporate world. As I write this, I am currently an employee in my “dream company”, which took two months of applications and interviews ‘til I finally landed the spot.

As I continue on this journey of mine, I have discovered that learning doesn’t stop in the four walls of the classroom. I may not be enrolled in a class but I became I student of life. The world is now my new platform. The lessons have become more practical for daily life as well. Nowadays, it is about computing my budget, learning how to make ends meet, savings and investments, balancing time between family and friends. Whenever time permits, I take part in extra-curricular activities such as Calligraphy and other art related activities. I admit I may have neglected cultivating my passions when I was too focused on finishing my studies.

In every aspect of my life, I have come to see that learning never stops. Each season of our lives brings us different things to learn; it is up to us how we master each. Learning is not confined in a course syllabus or a class schedule. It goes beyond the university. In fact, it is endless as long as we are alive because these lessons are the ones that allow us to grow as persons. As the famous quote goes: Once you stop learning, you stop growing.

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The essay above was submitted as an entry for the Feature Writing 101 workshop contest of The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf along with Writer’s Block Philippines.

NO MORE SUGARCOATING

There are moments in my life that makes blogging superficial. Parents fighting, family conflict, failures, and my never-ending-shortcomings. In my previous "home" in the world wide web, I often wonder if I'm being real. I often find myself thinking if I'm being true enough to the words that I write. I know that I can't divulge every little detail of my life in this small space, but still I want to be authentic. There's a desire within me to write more honestly than before.

It was one of the reasons why I stopped blogging for a while. I felt like I was posting stuff just for the sake of posting. I didn't care about the content anymore, as long as it looks alive and active. There were bandwagons of entries that looked appealing to a lot of people of which I joined; Who wouldn't love the likes, reblogs, and followers that one can gain? Even if I hate to say this, but for a while I was blinded by the promise of being famous and recognized by the online community. As what I have said countless times before, maybe it's because of my desperation to become a writer that I need a few nods to prove that I can be one. So, I took blogging seriously but forgot the essence of it along the way.

It took a lot of thinking if I should start another blog, or even transfer to another blogging site. I was attached to my Tumblr because I met some bloggers there who eventually became my friends. It was also a record of my college life. But it was a necessary move on my part, because this would push me to express my thoughts seamlessly. To create something original and what truly interests me. To forgo the norm and tell stories, no matter if they came out of pain or happiness.

I don't want to add more "noise" in the online world. I want this blog to be an avenue to share my story to people, even if my life is far from perfect. Hopefully, I'll meet like-minded people as I present the pieces of my life, and maybe meet persons who are going through the same season as me. It's time to go beyond the surface.